Bugg Davis, DSU
June 29, 2017
Managing time is difficult. Because time is so limited here, that truth breathes down our necks on a constant basis. There's always that nudging inside: don't waste your time, don't waste your time…
I worry that I sleep too much if I sleep more than seven hours, or about how I neglect writing things down. Moments come grand in capacity and occurrence, and they stop rarely for anyone. So, to write these things down is a discipline that I ought to practice and acquire better. This happens every time I go on missions. I worry about things like these, but something unique has been happening to me here in Toronto.
There is someone on my team, our team leader, who has graciously given an ear to my worries. Always in love, she replies with the truth, almost unsympathetically, but always in love. From her friendship, God has allowed me to learn what accountability looks like. When I misstep, she is always prompt to pull me back to try again, while not changing her opinion of me due to my mistakes. Every worry that I lay out on the table, she counters with scripture and truth. If my worries are the main prompting of my actions, then I am, indeed, in the wrong and acting out of the selfishness of my own feelings.
Never should I serve from my own intent to get the job done. Since the beginning of time, this has been about Him, and it will remain so until the job is done, both here in Toronto and in all other places. He determines the orchestration of it all. Time is relative. It is not the determining factor of the mission.
God works outside of time. Therefore, I shouldn't let time worry or control me, especially not in the manner of my own selfish desire. This summer, I've seen quite clearly just how selfish I am. It slips out in my attempts at being humble, but really, once it is examined closely, it is me, trying in my own strength to be Christ-like, which is impossible. Whether in my work, in my writing, in my reading, in my sleeping, and in all other things, without Christ, there is no such thing as being Christ-like. If I'm honest, it's been hard to admit these things, because selfishly, I thought I was doing pretty good.
At the beginning of this summer, I prayed for growth. Lately, this is what it has looked like… Sometimes growth means cultivating the soil again, which is hard, messy, and long, heart-breaking work. It's taking away what was once a place where harvest was present and going back to the beginning because weeds have grown and the weeds have to be pulled. I'd be lying if I said that Jesus and I won't have to spend the rest of my life pulling weeds. Because I'm human, we will. And I dare say, the same is true for you.
But, it says in Philippians 1:6, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
We are insufficient. That is an absolute. Our confidence isn’t in our own capabilities, but in the sweet truth that He is willing to mold us, day after day. He guarantees us that He will complete the job. That is our confidence - that we will undoubtedly get there, and we'll have Him, the whole ride up.
Isn't the process beautiful?
Painful, certainly, but beautiful too, because we are wanted so greatly by the God of the universe that He is willing to get down in the dirt with us and work this out.
I encourage you, my brothers and sisters, to not neglect getting down in the dirt with Him and rolling around a while. It is the grandest adventure we will ever embark on – a life with Him. Though messy, it is entirely beautiful.